I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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