what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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