I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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