hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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