Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
