May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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