Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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