i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
