how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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