So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
