i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
