But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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