Please, let me fuck your mom
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
