he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
