Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
