I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
