i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Randomize
