You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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