she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
