screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize