3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
