There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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