So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
