i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize