I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Randomize
