Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
