I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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