that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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