The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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