Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
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