It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Sext me about skeletons
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
