everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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