im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
