Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
