did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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