Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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