We named our party play list daddy issues
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
