So drunk its hurt
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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