I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
