I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
