I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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