Well apparently he's into motor boating.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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