Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
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