Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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