stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
we're so committed to being not committed
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
