Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
