hotel room ftw
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
