I just saw a hot homeless man
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
