Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
A+ Viking dick
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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