went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
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