Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize