Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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