He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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