dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
