Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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