you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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