I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize