Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
