Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
