I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
