Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
