Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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