real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
