I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
