took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize