I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
