when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
it was like having sex with a tree stump
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
