I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
