Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
