Screwed.edu
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize